Day 9—Friday, February 27

Zechariah 13:7

“Awake, sword, against my shepherd,

         against the man who is close to me!”

         declares the Lord Almighty.

“Strike the shepherd,

         and the sheep will be scattered,

         and I will turn my hand against the little ones…

Many years before Jesus was born, Zecariah foretold the crucifixion of Jesus. In his telling, the Lord described Jesus as his shepherd and the man close to Him. Following the crucifixion, Jesus’s sheep - the disciples - would be scattered. Jesus quoted this prophecy from Zecariah at the Last Supper and Peter protested, saying, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will.” Yet after the crucifixion, the disciples locked themselves behind closed doors “for fear of the Jewish leaders.” The Gospels tell us that even after Jesus arose from the dead, the disciples struggled with doubt, fear, and disbelief. Thomas said, “Unless I see the nail marks in his hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into his side, I will not believe.”

Like the disciples, I feel doubt, fear, and disbelief when I see violence perpetuated within our country and across the world. I struggle with the temptation to lock myself behind closed doors, and to understand what it looks like to live as a Christian in today’s world. As the mother of a young child, I also feel the responsibility to be a good shepherd for my little sheep. Should I take her to the protest to stand up for the most vulnerable among us, where we might be pepper sprayed (or worse)? What example am I sending when we stick to our scheduled activities instead? If we go to swim lessons instead of the protest, how else might we tend to His flock? When my daughter is old enough to understand what was happening in our country when she was a child, what will I say when she asks me what I did to respond? It is so easy to look back at history and to pass judgment on people living through challenging times, and it is so much harder in the middle of it to consciously pause the comfortable routines of daily life and thoughtfully act in ways that meet the moment we are in.

This passage reminds me that it is human to “scatter” in the wake of such violence, as the disciples did. It is ok to feel doubt, fear, and disbelief, and to take shelter - for a time. What matters is what we do next.

The Lord knew the sword would strike His shepherd and sent us His son anyway. Jesus knew He would be betrayed and He went to the Last Supper anyway. Jesus knew His sheep would scatter and He returned to them anyway.

The disciples scattered but then their resolve strengthened and they faithfully continued their work. Like them, I can be afraid of political violence and I can choose to show love anyway.

And so I pray: Lord, show me what it looks like to return to my shepherd after I scatter. Help me to follow Jesus faithfully in today’s world. Guide me in my next step, which need not be big or grand, but must simply move me forward. Remind me that even though the sword came against Him, the great miracle of Easter is that Jesus came back to us, and that He is here with us today and all days, anyway. Amen.

-Kaitlin Swanner